Christmas is a magical time of year for children.  While we try to instil the true meaning of Christmas, we also let children believe in the excitement of Santa.  Little kids don’t always understand that it’s not just about the presents, but about the gifts we have to share and about gratitude.

We asked Robert Krueger, Spiritual Development Coordinator at Athol Murray College of Notre Dame and father of five, how can we teach our children about gratefulness.  Robert has written a children's book "I HATE YOU SANTA" in which the main character, Stevie, wishes for the latest must-have toy but learns that Santa doesn't always give what is asked.  After a huge temper tantrum, Stevie learns about being grateful.  While Robert took this story from his own childhood at Christmas time, he and wife Elana realize that teaching their children to be grateful is an ongoing process.  They balance generosity with budget and prudence when deciding what to buy for their kids.  Here are some ideas Robert shares with us about teaching our children about gratitude:

How can we prevent the “gimmies” at Christmas time?

• Buy less and say “no”.  This might sound like a ‘Grinchy’ answer, but I think it’s too easy to spoil our children today.  I think that many parents have experienced what I have at Christmas.  We buy our kids things they ask for, maybe we spend a little too much, and we soon see that toy collecting dust on the shelf.  We can get caught up in the joy of giving at the expense of educating our children on gratefulness.  One thing my wife and I are trying to do is to spend our money on travel and activities instead of gifts.  We are hoping that by doing more things together as a family instead of bringing more stuff into the house, we will strengthen our relationship with our children.

How can we teach our children to be grateful for what they have?

• I remember when my parents would get upset at me when I was being ungrateful.  In their frustration, they would remind me of how good I had it and that there were a lot of not-so-lucky kids that would gladly trade places with me.  Some may criticize this as a guilt trip, but I believe we can tweak this a bit and make it more positive.  This goes back to the toys collecting dust in our kids’ rooms.  Ask them to give away a couple of toys to children who don’t have as much.   A couple years ago, my daughters had a huge pile of Polly Pockets; I asked them if they would like to give some of them to charity.  They were not initially excited by the idea but with a bit of coaching, their negative feelings of giving up some toys were replaced with a positive realization that they would be giving another little girl a chance to enjoy playing with the toys they chose to donate. 

What can we do when Santa can’t give our child what’s on his list, without taking away the magic of Santa?

• I have never been able to meet all of my children’s Christmas list wishes.  My wife and I have had some success developing realistic expectations for Christmas morning.  We tell our children that they can expect a couple items for the list but not all.  In the twelve Christmases that we have had children opening presents, we have had few meltdowns like Stevie did in my book. 

What organizations or charities can my child become involved with so he/she can understand the true meaning of giving?

• Sometimes I’ll give each of my kids a toonie at church to drop into the collection basket.  My wife and I will explain what the church does with the money.  When we donate things from our house, we usually drop them off at the Salvation Army kiosks around town.  I know of a great opportunity through World Vision.  They have a program where you can help people in developing nations by buying things they need for their farms, schools or small businesses.  They have a long list of items in a catalogue you can choose.  For example, livestock for $50, seed and fertilizer for $35, books or musical instruments for $50 or even $100 for a small business loan.  Try visiting the site at www.worldvision.ca/gifts.  This provides a great opportunity to show our kids how a relatively small amount of money can provide a huge change for those in need.

Robert Krueger
Spiritual Development Coordinator
Athol Murray College of Notre Dame

Author of I Hate You Santa – a children’s book about gratitude during Christmas time.  Available online, in store at Zippity Zoom Toys, or in store at Chapters Regina.

To win a copy of I Hate You Santa by local author Robert Krueger, email us at events@kinderbuzz.com with your first and last name, email address, and phone number and "book" in the subject line. 

CONTEST RULES & REGULATIONS: Contest ends December 22, 2011 at 11:59 PM C.S.T. One entry per email address. Winner will be contacted by email and/or phone on December 23, 2011. To qualify, you MUST provide your full name, email address and phone number. No cash equivalent, non-transferable, and no substitution will be made. Entry into the contest confirms agreement with these rules, including consent to publicize the winner's name.  Prize must be picked up from Zippity Zoom Toys.